Kikbednaklarp is a god.

It takes the form of an exceedingly large, caring crane.

Kikbednaklarp created dark matter two million years ago.

If you believe in Kikbednaklarp, it will grant you immortality.

If you do not believe in Kikbednaklarp, it will cry a lot.

Kikbednaklarp's most sacred site is Ringford in Scotland.

Kikbednaklarp's Holy Commandments

1. Treat sacred texts with the utmost of respect.

2. Tell all that you meet of the great power of Kikbednaklarp.

3. Always make sure there are no snails in a room before entering it.

4. Goats are not to be trusted.

5. Never talk about fire.