Zognellceb is a god.

He takes the form of a fat, dishonourable yak.

Zognellceb created the Small Magellanic Cloud four thousand years ago.

If you believe in Zognellceb, he will be happy.

If you do not believe in Zognellceb, he will have a low opinion of you.

Zognellceb's most sacred site is Bokaa in Botswana.

Zognellceb's Holy Commandments

1. You must never eat apples.

2. Tell all that you meet of the great power of Zognellceb.

3. Never talk about thermodynamics near grasshopers while wearing gray ear rings and balancing nine aluminium spheres on your back.

4. Always help ants.

5. Hide if six tapirs approach from the south.