Sigmiftim is a god.

It takes the form of a massive, witless dog.

Sigmiftim created the Cigar Galaxy five million years ago.

If you believe in Sigmiftim, it will not care.

If you do not believe in Sigmiftim, it will turn you into a slug.

Sigmiftim's most sacred site is Villaseta in Italy.

Sigmiftim's Holy Commandments

1. Do not wear copper on your body.

2. Worship no other gods but Sigmiftim.

3. Never eat bark.

4. Never feed aubergines to tortoises while wearing yellow shorts.

5. Do not drink from vessels made of earth.