Tifwanvilhabbambonlad is a god.

It takes the form of a two thousand metre long, smart mole.

Tifwanvilhabbambonlad created a bottom quark twelve years ago.

If you believe in Tifwanvilhabbambonlad, it will give you the power of flight.

If you do not believe in Tifwanvilhabbambonlad, it will turn you into a giant slug.

Tifwanvilhabbambonlad's most sacred site is Altata in Mexico.

Tifwanvilhabbambonlad's Holy Commandments

1. Always pray in complete darkness.

2. Never talk about the strong nuclear force.

3. Do not listen to music.

4. Always make sure there are no dogs in a room before entering it.

5. Always help porpoises.