Quilltamfom is a god.

She takes the form of a six hundred metre long, vain badger.

Quilltamfom created humankind eight trillion years ago.

If you believe in Quilltamfom, she will grant you five wishes.

If you do not believe in Quilltamfom, she will hide angry queen hornets in your dwelling place.

Quilltamfom's most sacred site is Edenryd in Sweden.

Quilltamfom's Holy Commandments

1. Do not drink alcohol.

2. Put Quilltamfom first in all things.

3. Do not trade with those who eat onions.

4. Never hurt birds.

5. Never wear pink kilts.