Daptenfad is a god.

She takes the form of a five hundred metre long, tiresome crow.

Daptenfad created the solar system eight billion years ago.

If you believe in Daptenfad, she will give you a free moon.

If you do not believe in Daptenfad, she will send twenty two thousand, three hundred, and seventy eight badgers to sort you out.

Daptenfad's most sacred site is Zlatolist in Bulgaria.

Daptenfad's Holy Commandments

1. Never think about thermodynamics.

2. Never talk about dark matter near mice while wearing magenta coats and balancing eight lead spheres on your chest.

3. Do not drink from vessels made of earth.

4. Pray towards the east.

5. Never think about electromagnetism near bats while wearing turquoise dresses and balancing nine zinc spheres on your face.