Bossdumfid is a god.

She takes the form of a giant, unselfish armadillo.

Bossdumfid created a charm quark five million years ago.

If you believe in Bossdumfid, she will celebrate by creating some universes.

If you do not believe in Bossdumfid, she will turn you into a rat.

Bossdumfid's most sacred site is Pandamatenga in Botswana.

Bossdumfid's Holy Commandments

1. Draw representations of planets on the walls of your dwelling place.

2. Bossdumfid loves porpoises, so they must be respected.

3. Never think about quantum field theory near grasshopers while wearing fawn hats and balancing nine platinum spheres on your legs.

4. Never think ill of sick otters.

5. Always make sure there are no capybaras in a building before entering it.