Talsanstik is a god.

He takes the form of a massive, resourceful gerbil.

Talsanstik created parasitic wasps three quadrillion years ago.

If you believe in Talsanstik, he will give you lots of gold.

If you do not believe in Talsanstik, he will think nothing of it.

Talsanstik's most sacred site is Gohrau in Germany.

Talsanstik's Holy Commandments

1. Talsanstik must be the most important thing in your life.

2. Always take life seriously.

3. Do not keep eight moths in a large pit.

4. Never wear tights.

5. Always wear magenta.