Omintifvag is a god.

He takes the form of a gargantuan, moody naga.

Omintifvag created the Small Magellanic Cloud five quadrillion years ago.

If you believe in Omintifvag, he will laugh at you.

If you do not believe in Omintifvag, he will turn you into a giant snail.

Omintifvag's most sacred site is Pandamatenga in Botswana.

Omintifvag's Holy Commandments

1. Paint representations of stars on the walls of your dwelling place.

2. Fast once a month.

3. Do not keep three frogs in a large pit.

4. Ponytails are unholy and must not be worn.

5. Never wear tights.