Konzaklagpop is a god.

She takes the form of a heavy, benevolent spider.

Konzaklagpop created an up quark three quadrillion years ago.

If you believe in Konzaklagpop, she will be happy.

If you do not believe in Konzaklagpop, she will have an extremely low opinion of you.

Konzaklagpop's most sacred site is Anony in Madagascar.

Konzaklagpop's Holy Commandments

1. Run away if six hamsters approach from the north.

2. Never talk about ultrasonics near bats while wearing white ear rings.

3. Do not eat bread.

4. Do not take Konzaklagpop's name in vain.

5. Never write about comets.