Weesafgatyatt Narlgudstiklarp is a god.

She takes the form of a five hundred metre long, cheerful fairy.

Weesafgatyatt Narlgudstiklarp created snails five million years ago.

If you believe in Weesafgatyatt Narlgudstiklarp, she will look after your home planet.

If you do not believe in Weesafgatyatt Narlgudstiklarp, she will name a particularly small and pointless dust cloud after you.

Weesafgatyatt Narlgudstiklarp's most sacred site is Quenstedt in Germany.

Weesafgatyatt Narlgudstiklarp's Holy Commandments

1. Always prostrate yourself in the presence of your elders.

2. Never talk about dark energy near dogs while wearing violet skirts and balancing three gold spheres on your arms.

3. Respect rivers and do not attempt to bridge them.

4. Radishes are unclean and should not be eaten.

5. Hide if nine mice approach from the south.