Higlapafquam is a god.

He takes the form of a microscopic, dishonest warg.

Higlapafquam created the solar system three billion years ago.

If you believe in Higlapafquam, he will answer your prayers.

If you do not believe in Higlapafquam, he will turn you into a dog.

Higlapafquam's most sacred site is Nakke in Denmark.

Higlapafquam's Holy Commandments

1. Never talk about spacetime.

2. Do not fashion models of living things.

3. You must never eat gooseberries.

4. Hide if six frogs approach from the south.

5. Run away if seven goats approach from the north.