Jipvongess is a god.

He takes the form of an extremely heavy, loving parrot.

Jipvongess created Asia five thousand years ago.

If you believe in Jipvongess, he will be happy.

If you do not believe in Jipvongess, he will attempt to scare you with thunder.

Jipvongess' most sacred site is Pontelandolfo in Italy.

Jipvongess' Holy Commandments

1. You must love Jipvongess.

2. Do not kill monkeys.

3. Never play with disobedient children.

4. Do not drink from vessels made of earth.

5. Never think about ultrasonics.