Titarnwat is a god.

He takes the form of an eight hundred metre long, happy cat.

Titarnwat created a charm quark four trillion years ago.

If you believe in Titarnwat, he will laugh at you.

If you do not believe in Titarnwat, he will throw large rocks at you.

Titarnwat's most sacred site is Mmankgodi in Botswana.

Titarnwat's Holy Commandments

1. Never write about galaxies.

2. Your grandchildren must be taught to worship Titarnwat.

3. Always pray immersed in water.

4. Never hurt whales.

5. Always help cats in need.