Bimstafnan is a god.

He takes the form of a six thousand metre long, narcissistic dragonfly.

Bimstafnan created an up quark five quadrillion years ago.

If you believe in Bimstafnan, he will give you a massive pile of rare-earth elements.

If you do not believe in Bimstafnan, he will strike you with lightening.

Bimstafnan's most sacred site is Ilmola in Finland.

Bimstafnan's Holy Commandments

1. Never feed peanuts to squirrels while wearing mauve rings.

2. Never look at black holes.

3. Pray towards the east.

4. Always make a point of helping unfortunate monkeys.

5. Never sing in the presence of mice.