Cumpakpid Sasshavfum Arfbamlag is a god.

He takes the form of a corpulent, ill-tempered crocodile.

Cumpakpid Sasshavfum Arfbamlag created Africa six million years ago.

If you believe in Cumpakpid Sasshavfum Arfbamlag, he will smite all your enemies.

If you do not believe in Cumpakpid Sasshavfum Arfbamlag, he will be mildly annoyed.

Cumpakpid Sasshavfum Arfbamlag's most sacred site is Questenberg in Germany.

Cumpakpid Sasshavfum Arfbamlag's Holy Commandments

1. Do not cook food in pots.

2. Show mercy to disobedient children.

3. Do not speak about apples.

4. Never think about dark matter near snakes while wearing green boots and balancing seven nickel spheres on your face.

5. You must pray to Cumpakpid Sasshavfum Arfbamlag eight times a day.