Minpasnil Padmum is a god.

It takes the form of a rotund, calm dragon.

Minpasnil Padmum created humanity four quadrillion years ago.

If you believe in Minpasnil Padmum, it will be very happy.

If you do not believe in Minpasnil Padmum, it will jump up and down fuming with anger.

Minpasnil Padmum's most sacred site is Oppin in Germany.

Minpasnil Padmum's Holy Commandments

1. Do not bounce in public.

2. Radishes are unclean and should not be eaten.

3. Ponytails are unholy and must not be worn.

4. Do not drink from vessels made of base metals.

5. Run away from indigo squirrels, for they are unholy.