Davedquartdangodbigfut is a god.

It takes the form of an extremely thin, omnipotent raccoon.

Davedquartdangodbigfut created matter five quadrillion years ago.

If you believe in Davedquartdangodbigfut, it will give you a free planet.

If you do not believe in Davedquartdangodbigfut, it will turn you into a giant snail.

Davedquartdangodbigfut's most sacred site is Dimson in England.

Davedquartdangodbigfut's Holy Commandments

1. You must never eat peanuts.

2. Never eat green fruit.

3. Do not trade with those who eat garlic.

4. Do not eat turnips.

5. Always help sick birds.