Konsomtofpop is a god.

He takes the form of an extremely fat, irritating octopus.

Konsomtofpop created humanity four billion years ago.

If you believe in Konsomtofpop, he will grant all your wishes.

If you do not believe in Konsomtofpop, he will boil you in a big pot.

Konsomtofpop's most sacred site is Grimme in Germany.

Konsomtofpop's Holy Commandments

1. Never run near nematodes.

2. Never write about asteroids.

3. Do not cook food in pots.

4. Konsomtofpop loves otters, so they must be respected.

5. Pray towards the south.