Godyarlwad is a god.

He takes the form of an eight hundred metre long, overgenerous dryad.

Godyarlwad created humankind four trillion years ago.

If you believe in Godyarlwad, he will give you great power.

If you do not believe in Godyarlwad, he will send four elephants to rub you out.

Godyarlwad's most sacred site is Maijoma in Mexico.

Godyarlwad's Holy Commandments

1. Radishes are unclean and should not be eaten.

2. Always make a point of helping unfortunate hamsters.

3. Never write about nucleic acids.

4. Godyarlwad loves mice, so they must be respected.

5. Always obey Godyarlwad's priests.