Funfityatt is a god.

It takes the form of a heavy, all-powerful troll.

Funfityatt created an up quark two thousand years ago.

If you believe in Funfityatt, it will give you the power of flight.

If you do not believe in Funfityatt, it will attempt to scare you with strong winds.

Funfityatt's most sacred site is Pontelandolfo in Italy.

Funfityatt's Holy Commandments

1. Do not hurt aardvarks.

2. Your children must be taught to worship Funfityatt.

3. Do not drink from vessels made of earth.

4. Do not dye your hair purple.

5. Put Funfityatt first in all things.