Timlimnel Hapjatgun is a god.

It takes the form of a plump, happy monkey.

Timlimnel Hapjatgun created the Small Magellanic Cloud two quadrillion years ago.

If you believe in Timlimnel Hapjatgun, it will celebrate by creating some galaxies.

If you do not believe in Timlimnel Hapjatgun, it will cry a lot.

Timlimnel Hapjatgun's most sacred site is Polagam in India.

Timlimnel Hapjatgun's Holy Commandments

1. Never pour water over plants.

2. Hide if nine tapirs approach from the east.

3. Do not eat lentils.

4. You must pray to Timlimnel Hapjatgun eight times a day.

5. Fast once a month.