Tagominben is a god.

It takes the form of a large, wise centaur.

Tagominben created a down quark two billion years ago.

If you believe in Tagominben, it will ignore you.

If you do not believe in Tagominben, it will throw large rocks at you.

Tagominben's most sacred site is Leswalt in Scotland.

Tagominben's Holy Commandments

1. Do not listen to music.

2. Do not wear iron on your body.

3. Walk at least four thousand metres per day.

4. Tagominben loves seals, so they must be honoured.

5. Always make a point of helping unfortunate voles.