Gof is a god.

He takes the form of an extremely heavy, emotional hydra.

Gof created water seven trillion years ago.

If you believe in Gof, he will grant you immortality.

If you do not believe in Gof, he will name a particularly small and pointless asteroid after you.

Gof's most sacred site is Iona in Scotland.

Gof's Holy Commandments

1. Do not wear nickel on your body.

2. Erect a giant green sculpture of Gof in the centre of the settlement.

3. Never eat green fruit.

4. Do not drink from vessels made of silicon.

5. Never think about quantum mechanics near aardvarks while wearing pink shoes and balancing three carbon spheres on your chest.