Kabhogtarp is a god.

She takes the form of a very large, sage wolf.

Kabhogtarp created the Milkyway four million years ago.

If you believe in Kabhogtarp, she will be shocked.

If you do not believe in Kabhogtarp, she will turn you into a mole.

Kabhogtarp's most sacred site is Issigeac in France.

Kabhogtarp's Holy Commandments

1. Do not eat figs.

2. Do not chop down trees.

3. Do not make images of living things.

4. Do not speak about nuts.

5. Never feed apples to sharks while wearing tights.