Flatbogstigdob is a god.

He takes the form of a galaxy-sized, grumpy otter.

Flatbogstigdob created the Andromeda Galaxy four billion years ago.

If you believe in Flatbogstigdob, he will grant all your wishes.

If you do not believe in Flatbogstigdob, he will send four elderly elephants to rub you out.

Flatbogstigdob's most sacred site is Troqueer in Scotland.

Flatbogstigdob's Holy Commandments

1. Never play with disobedient children.

2. You must pray to Flatbogstigdob six times a day.

3. Retreat if nine nematodes approach from the east.

4. Erect a giant platinum sculpture of Flatbogstigdob in the centre of the settlement.

5. Always help sick shrews.