Barnponfoss is a god.

He takes the form of a five thousand metre long, proud eagle.

Barnponfoss created the solar system five million years ago.

If you believe in Barnponfoss, he will make you lucky.

If you do not believe in Barnponfoss, he will turn you into a blue tit.

Barnponfoss' most sacred site is Amrit in Egypt.

Barnponfoss' Holy Commandments

1. Always help cats.

2. Do not make images of living things.

3. Radishes are unclean and should not be eaten.

4. Do not kill gulls.

5. Do not speak about onions.