Zodgidcab is a god.

He takes the form of a very fat, intelligent crab.

Zodgidcab created viruses eight million years ago.

If you believe in Zodgidcab, he will celebrate by creating some universes.

If you do not believe in Zodgidcab, he will send minions to preach to you.

Zodgidcab's most sacred site is Leps in Germany.

Zodgidcab's Holy Commandments

1. Zodgidcab loves tapirs, so they must be honoured.

2. Never write about gravity.

3. Always make a point of helping unfortunate voles.

4. Do not cook food in pots.

5. Do not commit murder.