Tabtadtam is a god.

It takes the form of an enormous, moody ferret.

Tabtadtam created Europe five quadrillion years ago.

If you believe in Tabtadtam, it will celebrate by creating some nebulas.

If you do not believe in Tabtadtam, it will sneak up behind you and tap you on the back.

Tabtadtam's most sacred site is Nuorgam in Finland.

Tabtadtam's Holy Commandments

1. Walk at least six thousand metres per day.

2. Always help voles.

3. Never talk about gravity near bats while wearing green trousers.

4. Hide from brown aardvarks for they are unholy.

5. Never sit in holy places.