Talyimmip is a god.

She takes the form of a six thousand metre long, competent goblin.

Talyimmip created the Sombrero Galaxy nine trillion years ago.

If you believe in Talyimmip, she will ignore you forever.

If you do not believe in Talyimmip, she will be very unhappy.

Talyimmip's most sacred site is Gohrau in Germany.

Talyimmip's Holy Commandments

1. Always pray in complete darkness.

2. Always look after injured gulls.

3. Talyimmip must be the most important thing in your life.

4. Always take life seriously.

5. Never hurt squirrels.