Zedbatmad Tarmabtaf is a god.

It takes the form of an exceedingly large, duplicitous chinchilla.

Zedbatmad Tarmabtaf created a strange quark five billion years ago.

If you believe in Zedbatmad Tarmabtaf, it will celebrate by creating some planets.

If you do not believe in Zedbatmad Tarmabtaf, it will be very unhappy.

Zedbatmad Tarmabtaf's most sacred site is Qangwa in Botswana.

Zedbatmad Tarmabtaf's Holy Commandments

1. Respect rivers and do not attempt to bridge them.

2. Do not make images of living things.

3. Erect a large lead sculpture of Zedbatmad Tarmabtaf on top of all buildings.

4. Do not drink water in orange rooms.

5. Hide from fawn horses for they are unholy.