Yoglenrak is a god.

It takes the form of a heavy, cheerful penguin.

Yoglenrak created Europe nine billion years ago.

If you believe in Yoglenrak, it will be shocked.

If you do not believe in Yoglenrak, it will destroy your home solar system.

Yoglenrak's most sacred site is Maijoma in Mexico.

Yoglenrak's Holy Commandments

1. Never wear scarves.

2. Do not hurt shrews.

3. Do not covet oxen.

4. Do not dye your hair blue.

5. Your grandchildren must be taught to worship Yoglenrak.