Stafwadbum is a god.

He takes the form of a rotund, idiotic jaguar.

Stafwadbum created the Sol system five quadrillion years ago.

If you believe in Stafwadbum, he will remain indifferent to you.

If you do not believe in Stafwadbum, he will turn you into a mouse.

Stafwadbum's most sacred site is Chettipet in India.

Stafwadbum's Holy Commandments

1. Do not fashion models of living things.

2. Show mercy to disobedient children.

3. Do not take Stafwadbum's name in vain.

4. Do not trade with those who eat rice.

5. Do not stand on grass.