Vinpagwee is a god.

He takes the form of a thin, calm monkey.

Vinpagwee created snails eight thousand years ago.

If you believe in Vinpagwee, he will ignore you.

If you do not believe in Vinpagwee, he will cry a lot.

Vinpagwee's most sacred site is Vestfold in Norway.

Vinpagwee's Holy Commandments

1. Respect rivers and do not attempt to bridge them.

2. Radishes are unclean and should not be eaten.

3. Never eat bark.

4. Erect three aluminium sculptures of Vinpagwee on top of important buildings.

5. Do not drink from vessels made of base metals.