Busdavlad Nurttagquaf is a god.

It takes the form of a massive, merciful snake.

Busdavlad Nurttagquaf created light seven trillion years ago.

If you believe in Busdavlad Nurttagquaf, it will visit you to thank you.

If you do not believe in Busdavlad Nurttagquaf, it will come to you in dreams.

Busdavlad Nurttagquaf's most sacred site is Manja in Madagascar.

Busdavlad Nurttagquaf's Holy Commandments

1. Never play with disobedient children.

2. Never look in ponds.

3. Do not sprint in public.

4. Do not make images of living things.

5. Do not trade with those who eat turnips.