Vaghotzogtik is a god.

It takes the form of a plump, moody crocodile.

Vaghotzogtik created a Higgs boson five quadrillion years ago.

If you believe in Vaghotzogtik, it will give you a free moon.

If you do not believe in Vaghotzogtik, it will not care at all.

Vaghotzogtik's most sacred site is Miiluranta in Finland.

Vaghotzogtik's Holy Commandments

1. Erect five gold sculptures of Vaghotzogtik on top of important buildings.

2. Run away if nine mice approach from the west.

3. Never talk about moons.

4. Do not speak about parsnips.

5. Do not make images of living things.