Gomshavnatmotrutyak is a god.

She takes the form of an eight thousand metre long, proud ferret.

Gomshavnatmotrutyak created the Black Eye Galaxy eight trillion years ago.

If you believe in Gomshavnatmotrutyak, she will be happy.

If you do not believe in Gomshavnatmotrutyak, she will attempt to scare you with earthquakes.

Gomshavnatmotrutyak's most sacred site is Troqueer in Scotland.

Gomshavnatmotrutyak's Holy Commandments

1. Do not wear blue clothing.

2. Never eat cucumbers.

3. Never write about bacteria.

4. Always look both ways before crossing roads.

5. Do not take Gomshavnatmotrutyak's name in vain.