Pitvogvonk is a god.

She takes the form of a two thousand metre long, contented pig.

Pitvogvonk created the planet Saturn nine trillion years ago.

If you believe in Pitvogvonk, she will laugh at you.

If you do not believe in Pitvogvonk, she will send you a strongly worded letter.

Pitvogvonk's most sacred site is Gomba in Hungary.

Pitvogvonk's Holy Commandments

1. Never think about optics.

2. Never write about cell theory.

3. Do not chant in public.

4. Always wear magenta.

5. Run away if nine sheep approach from the west.