Jonhinrow is a god.

She takes the form of an extremely large, omnipotent shark.

Jonhinrow created the Whirlpool Galaxy seven trillion years ago.

If you believe in Jonhinrow, she will be happy.

If you do not believe in Jonhinrow, she will cry a lot.

Jonhinrow's most sacred site is Cudillero in Spain.

Jonhinrow's Holy Commandments

1. Great tits are unholy and should not be approached.

2. Respect your elders.

3. Never wear orange skirts.

4. Erect a giant white sculpture of Jonhinrow in the centre of the settlement.

5. Never think about gravity near foxes while wearing green jumpers and balancing seven platinum spheres on your legs.