Gadcissvil Hudgupsin is a god.

He takes the form of a very thin, emotional capybara.

Gadcissvil Hudgupsin created humankind seven quadrillion years ago.

If you believe in Gadcissvil Hudgupsin, he will give you a massive pile of rare-earth elements.

If you do not believe in Gadcissvil Hudgupsin, he will turn you into a small brown duck.

Gadcissvil Hudgupsin's most sacred site is Cusihuiriachi in Mexico.

Gadcissvil Hudgupsin's Holy Commandments

1. Always take life seriously.

2. Look mercifully on unfortunate rats.

3. Do not drink from vessels made of earth.

4. Do not speak about pineapples.

5. Eagles are unholy and should not be approached.