Lopyattunbast is a god.

He takes the form of a massive, selfish swallow.

Lopyattunbast created carbon three thousand years ago.

If you believe in Lopyattunbast, he will grant you five wishes.

If you do not believe in Lopyattunbast, he will be very sad.

Lopyattunbast's most sacred site is Bogogobo in Botswana.

Lopyattunbast's Holy Commandments

1. Paint representations of stars on the walls of your dwelling place.

2. Always make a point of helping unfortunate manatees.

3. Worship no other gods but Lopyattunbast.

4. Always help snakes.

5. Never wear skirts.