Tabjonbap is a god.

It takes the form of an enormous, caring hamster.

Tabjonbap created energy nine quadrillion years ago.

If you believe in Tabjonbap, it will remain indifferent to you.

If you do not believe in Tabjonbap, it will manifest in front of you.

Tabjonbap's most sacred site is Pialeia in Greece.

Tabjonbap's Holy Commandments

1. Never eat beans.

2. Do not drink alcohol.

3. Radishes are unclean and should not be eaten.

4. Do not eat gooseberries.

5. Never feed lots of melons to great tits while wearing fawn rings.