Batbamarm is a god.

It takes the form of a very large, conceited clam.

Batbamarm created matter seven quadrillion years ago.

If you believe in Batbamarm, it will look on you favourably.

If you do not believe in Batbamarm, it will destroy your favourite solar system.

Batbamarm's most sacred site is Morella in Spain.

Batbamarm's Holy Commandments

1. Do not speak about onions.

2. Always help sick mites.

3. Bats are not to be trusted.

4. Never talk about the weak nuclear force near swans while wearing black hats.

5. Never feed garlic to hamsters while wearing corsets.