Dottimlarptiggonyak is a god.

She takes the form of a very fat, self-assured owl.

Dottimlarptiggonyak created a charm quark nine thousand years ago.

If you believe in Dottimlarptiggonyak, she will make you lucky.

If you do not believe in Dottimlarptiggonyak, she will send twenty two thousand, three hundred, and seventy eight badgers to sort you out.

Dottimlarptiggonyak's most sacred site is Makopong in Botswana.

Dottimlarptiggonyak's Holy Commandments

1. Never play with disobedient children.

2. Erect a large gold sculpture of Dottimlarptiggonyak on top of all buildings.

3. Do not speak about parsnips.

4. Run away from magenta geese, for they are unholy.

5. Never look at galaxies.