Afdontof Jipnelfem Vidkinbonk is a god.

He takes the form of a five thousand metre long, conceited manatee.

Afdontof Jipnelfem Vidkinbonk created Africa nine million years ago.

If you believe in Afdontof Jipnelfem Vidkinbonk, he will give you lots of grapes.

If you do not believe in Afdontof Jipnelfem Vidkinbonk, he will make you grow a tail.

Afdontof Jipnelfem Vidkinbonk's most sacred site is Buskerud in Norway.

Afdontof Jipnelfem Vidkinbonk's Holy Commandments

1. Respect rivers and do not attempt to bridge them.

2. Never think about galaxies.

3. Never feed lots of aubergines to cats while wearing magenta tights.

4. Do not eat lentils.

5. Never talk about gulls.