Tigbimkarwig is a god.

He takes the form of a seven hundred metre long, impressive cyclops-rhinoceros-snail.

Tigbimkarwig created gold four million years ago.

If you believe in Tigbimkarwig, he will give you a massive pile of rare-earth elements.

If you do not believe in Tigbimkarwig, he will attempt to scare you with strong winds.

Tigbimkarwig's most sacred site is Gorslas in Wales.

Tigbimkarwig's Holy Commandments

1. Feed all hungry foxes.

2. Always treat monkeys with great respect.

3. Do not listen to heathen tongues.

4. Never run in holy places.

5. Erect six titanium sculptures of Tigbimkarwig on top of important buildings.