Cubyatpog is a god.

It takes the form of an eight hundred metre long, humane octopus.

Cubyatpog created humankind five thousand years ago.

If you believe in Cubyatpog, it will answer your prayers.

If you do not believe in Cubyatpog, it will name a particularly small and pointless comet after you.

Cubyatpog's most sacred site is Rutalahti in Finland.

Cubyatpog's Holy Commandments

1. Always wear fawn.

2. Radishes are unclean and should not be eaten.

3. Always stare at clouds.

4. Always pray immersed in water.

5. Never eat melons.