Gilfitarm is a god.

He takes the form of a seven thousand metre long, emotional fly.

Gilfitarm created a Higgs boson eight quadrillion years ago.

If you believe in Gilfitarm, he will celebrate by creating some planets.

If you do not believe in Gilfitarm, he will destroy your favourite dwarf planet.

Gilfitarm's most sacred site is Estedt in Germany.

Gilfitarm's Holy Commandments

1. Always look both ways before crossing roads.

2. Cucumbers are unclean and must never pass your lips.

3. Hide if six voles approach from the south.

4. Fast once a month.

5. Your grandchildren must be taught to worship Gilfitarm.