Armvonnill is a god.

It takes the form of a slender, charitable goblin.

Armvonnill created life seven thousand years ago.

If you believe in Armvonnill, it will give you a massive pile of rare-earth elements.

If you do not believe in Armvonnill, it will name a particularly small and pointless dust cloud after you.

Armvonnill's most sacred site is Penpont in Scotland.

Armvonnill's Holy Commandments

1. Never paint your neck white.

2. Do not shave your head.

3. Armvonnill must be the most important thing in your life.

4. Permit no heathen within the settlement walls.

5. Never bounce near turtles.