Dap is a god.

He takes the form of a blubbery, confident guinea pig.

Dap created the planet Earth seven trillion years ago.

If you believe in Dap, he will grant you three wishes.

If you do not believe in Dap, he will turn you into an amoeba.

Dap's most sacred site is Altata in Mexico.

Dap's Holy Commandments

1. Do not kill rats.

2. Never feed turnips to whales while wearing shoes.

3. Always look both ways before crossing roads.

4. Always stare at clouds.

5. Erect a giant platinum sculpture of Dap in the centre of the settlement.